Monday 30 January 2012


Haha the title of this post doesn't really make much sense. I just have lots of thoughts on my mind that I just wanna blah out.

So take for example, Kaitlin!

Isn't the girl growing up to be rather chubby like a ballllll! On certain days, Lihai and I call her 'Lumpy' and 'Chubbs' like 'Hey Lumpy!' hurhur. I think we can win the award for the 'Most Weird Parents' or 'Most Screwed Up Parents' :( But she is still our bundle of joy okay! We don't bully her or ill-treat her just cos we call her names! I bet she judges us too!

Anyway! The other day when we were out queuing up for tauhuey the couple behind said she is "si cheng rou" wtfff right! Only I get to say that! Cheebs! When like they themselves were fat and big in size *rolls eyes* seriously.

Another ball analogy...HAHA! SHE IS A BALL OF FUN AND...brings me tears at times as well. These four months have been a rollercoaster ride. The hair-pulling-omg-this-can't-be-happening times, to the crying-I-can't-do-this-anymore times and of course the omg-she-is-so-effing-cute-all-the-other-shit-times-are-nothing moments. I can't count the number of times I just feel like stabbing myself cos the noise is crazy or cos I simply can't do anything to stop her. Makes me wonder how other ppl can juggle looking after an infant and want to have another baby or are looking after a toddler at the same time. These people are the real superhero mummies man. Compared to them, I'm just small fry. Tiny. Itsy bitsy, and practically useless :(

At this point, I shall say I'm bloody hell thankful to have Lihai in my life. Sure, his pisses me off like mad sometimes, and I don't get his obsession with oranges. Sorry, damn anal and controlling here! Not that I control him from eating oranges, but I judge him and do say him everytime he does. #anotherreasonwhyihatecny Seriously, the acidic smell is so argh. And he can eat so many at a go, its ridiculous. Okay, point aside, HE IS THE AWESOMEST. Yes, he doesn't do romantic stuff cos he is not romantic etc etc and doesn't know how to coax or sweet talk me, but he has his moments. Just like last week. Can't elaborate cos he will probably stab and dig my eyeballs out if I write it here, but basically..he hugged me and held me and told me that he never regretted marrying me and I'm the best wife ever. HALLELUJAH! Where has this come from?! Hehe best thing I've heard since we got married. Mind you we have our fights and quarrels that go insane. That instantly made me freaking day, and was like Red Bull for the rest of the night. Though I was really ill, I still had the energy to look after Kaitxz! :))) #Happygirl91 Besides all that, he has really been my pillar of strength though on several occassions I've been shit down. So, I guess Lihai is another ball in my life. Drives me crazy, different as chalk and cheese, but I love him to bits. (So mushy, warrows. Ignore all the mushiness)

I guess when you've hit rock bottom, somehow life will bounce back up. Even if it doesn't, you have to make it work.  Sure, life looks all looks bright and fancy and all spanky dandy. But what I truly have to admit is that with every shred of positivity there seems to be in me, there is still that sadness that lurks inside.

It's been many months. Half a year if you think about it.  This is one wound that can't seem to be healed. Days I yearn for an answer how to get over this. At the end of everyday, there's no answer. Life simply goes on.

I realised I'm not making sense of what I'm saying, neither do I know what I am saying, really. I just know that and feel that everything's meant to be. With the loss of one, comes the beginning of another. I wish I could have the best of both worlds. (Excuse the Hannah Montana reference), but sadly as life has it, it's not all that smooth sailing. All I can do is wait for the ball to bounce back up. Sure, there have been several tiny bounces. I just wonder, when's the next big bounce gonna be! Life seems so awesome for everyone else..don't get me wrong. Life's awesome with Kaitxz and Lihai in my life. I guess, being human, we just can't help being more greedy:( I guess, that's one thing we all got to be grateful with what we have.

Okay, whateverxz, the baby girl is still slping..I shall go about and do other things while I still can! Shall end this post with pics of Kaitlin!

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