Wednesday 18 September 2013

Thoughts and a little update

(One of the last pictures I took of Kaitlin the day before she turned TWO, and yes that's taken at a clinic)

The past almost one week has been rather tough. Kaitlin has been quite a handful to handle, throwing lots of tantrums and being very short-tempered. Yes, it happens. I guess she is going through the terrible twos phase. I thought we already had it bad and I had no idea that it could get any worse *faints*

On top of that, she fell ill. I had no idea how she fell ill but I guess it's got to be school. She basically woke up on Sat morning with a fever and we brought her to the docs on Monday. Her fever is gone so that's great. She's just left with a really bad cough and slight runny nose. Well, cos of that she had to skip going to school on her birthday and spent it at home. I guess that could be a good thing for a kid right?

Well anyway, in the past two days that she had her fever everything felt like a mess. First, we had to deal with her fever. This is her second time having a fever so we aren't very used to it. Of course that's a good thing, but at the same time we weren't sure how to deal with it. I mean she can't really communicate how is she exactly feeling so that's the hard part and it's hard to get her to understand that we are really just trying to help her.

Her super bad attitude and temper has definitely made Daddy Li and I very frustrated. I'm not going to lie and say we are perfect parents that have lots of patience. As much as I try my best to keep calm and deal with the situation, Kaitlin at times really pushes the limit.

This bad behaviour had made me wonder and think about my parenting methods. Like what have I done wrong? Did I spoil her? What can I do better or what should I do instead? Why is it that I can't seem to bring her up the right way? In short I kind of feel quite sad about it and am starting to doubt my ability to parent.

I am still doubting myself, but well that aside I have to admit that I can't stay angry with K for long. Seeing her turn two was an amazing feeling. She was cranky despite the fact that it was her birthday and we gave in to her whines and demands -.- total princess attitude over here. But yes, seeing my babygirl turn two and celebrating with her in our own way was just so special to me.

I only hope that this phase will be over soon. I'm at a lost and I sometimes feel like giving up on this whole stay at home parenting thing cos I feel like I haven't been doing a good job bringing her up :( What's more, I don't want to keep losing my temper at her, or have to resort to time-outs at the naughty corner almost everyday cos she is just going to get used to it and whatever method I use next will also not work out eventually. OH LIFE. Time to go read up on how to deal with toddler tantrums. Until then, I think we'll be rarely going out cos she can be quite the handful even in public and I do not appreciate stares from people who don't have kids and just don't understand.

Oh, how I love this daughter of mine so very much, but yet sometimes she can drive me up the wall. All I can say is parenthood is never easy but I'll never exchanging this whole experience for anything else in the world.

If you are wondering if I am going to do an update about Kaitlin's birthday, yes I will soon. We'll be celebrating with her godparents this weekend and she'll be having her belated birthday celebration in school next week so do check back if you are interested :)

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