Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Of More Tantrums

Kaitlin has been throwing all sorts of tantrums. In fact, it has been pretty normal and I've gotten pretty used to it. I guess firstly, I do understand that it's a phase (this phase very long :() and that it's part of her growing up so I'm not entirely annoyed with her. Secondly, I figured I was probably like that when I was a toddler too, and almost every toddler out there throws tantrums.

However, of late, her tantrums have leveled up. My little tantrum ball has now reached a whole new level - more frequent tantrums, on top of crying she has now been jumping and stomping when frustrated, she gets emotional and gets easily unhappy over the tiniest thing - like not being able to close the curtains. I honestly thought things would get better as the months pass but it seems to have gotten worse. She wants her way, and if she doesn't get it..the tantrums begin.

I feel like I don't know how to help her through it anymore and how to minimize her rebellious behaviour. I've tried a variety of methods:

1. Talking to her nicely and calmly about it, explaining what's right and wrong and what's acceptable or not
2. Sending her to the naughty corner for her to vent her frustration and reflect on her actions
3. Talking to her in a firm voice to indicate seriousness of the matter - e.g. something she has done wrong 
4. Negotiating with her and praising her when she has listened or done something right
5. Distract her from the situation
6. Ignore
7. Scolding and spanking

I know how certain people have their views about scolding and spanking, but trust me when I say that I've left that to the last resort. 

I guess there's no one way to deal with every single tantrum. For now, all I can do is try and figure this whole thing out and let this phase pass. I only hope that I can be more patient with Kaitlin and be firm with her about certain rules and instructions especially if her actions might put her in danger (e.g. accidents) and yet at the same time, assure her that despite all the 'no's' and how I'm being firm and sometimes fierce with her..that I still love her so very much. I don't want to be the kind of parent that's only serious and strict, yet I don't want to be the kind to pamper and just let her have her way. Sure, it might be the easier way out for now but in the long run it wouldn't do her any good. Whilst it's frustrating and difficult to deal with, I guess it's all about finding that balance and making sure that Kaitlin grows up understanding what she can and cannot do and that not everything in life can be her way or immediate. I know she isn't exactly aware or able to understand why certain actions and behaviour are not acceptable or why mommy says 'no' to certain requests or stops her from doing some things, but I guess it's got to start somewhere before it becomes a habit.

If you're having a tough time like me, I guess this post hasn't been of much help with giving you advice on how to deal with it but at least know that you aren't alone! I know how terrible some days can be. Certain days you reflect on what has happened..what you've accomplished as a mom, what you have done and have yet to complete like the chores, the tantrums you've had to deal with and know that you'll probably have to deal with them again the next day and have no real solution to it. Trust me, I know. It eats up so much of our energy, yet we want to do it. Despite that all, we want to be there for our child through their growing years and if only there's some answer or solution to all those problems. As I'm typing this, I'm honestly not feeling very positive about this whole parenting thing, and I've been doubting myself on my role as Kaitlin's mom. I just hope things get better, and that whatever tantrums that happen, I'll be able to help the babygirl through it without losing my cool. 

Hang in there fellow moms, and stay strong!

--

To my dearest babygirl,


You little drama queen have been testing mommy's patience quite a fair bit. Tsk tsk. I feel sad to see that you've been throwing your tantrums quite a fair bit more than usual. I'm sorry if I haven't been doing a good job as a mommy and if that might be causing you to behave like that. I miss our days where we would have hours of fun without tears or screams. Let's try and work towards that! I know you are growing up and want your way, and still don't understand that can't happen all the time. I'm sorry if I've been a little more strict at times and for all the spankings I've given your bum bum. I promise to try and be more patient with you and that we'll figure this whole tantrum thingamoo thing out. I hope you'll know that despite everything, Mommy still loves you very much. Yes, mommy gets angry at times but I don't love you any less, in fact, Mommy will always love you. 

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