Wednesday 21 January 2015

when all things fail, start anew

Hello neglected space! I had no intention of neglecting this space, but it just happened. So fail right. Not even one month into the new year and this has happened. Not that it was one of my goals to be all "Go Go Go!" with the blog. I mean I wanted to, but this year I didn't want to make it a goal. I felt like it wasn't something that I had to work towards cos it should have been something I should have already been doing. Plus, it was my goal last year, and kind of failed quite miserably luh. So while, it's not a goal for this year, I definitely would want to try to put in more effort with blogging. Perhaps even change some things around.

Less procrastination, less of being lazy. 

All that aside! Another reason why I've not been blogging is Macbook Pro decided to die on me. Why you fail on me D: Well, thankfully it failed on me during a time when I didn't have any scheduled or sponsored posts to be up. *phew* If not I would be panicking more than I was.

So well my Macbook Pro has been moving like the pace of a snail for the last couple of weeks. And finally one night, while using it, the airport decided it didn't want to function anymore. That was still alright cos my laptop was still working. Then I googled solutions to try and fix it. Then it got worse -.- At times it would take five-ever to start up, at times it wouldn't even start-up completely D: This went on for two days and I decided to get a new hard drive. Cos guess what, my hard drives that I managed to dig up, did not want to work anymore -.- For what reason? I don't know :( So I couldn't back up my stuff, before my Macbook decides to suddenly die a sudden death. So I got a new one, backed up the stuff. Brought it to the service centre. They said it might be possible to fix. But in the end, I decided that it's been three years, and that even if I got it fixed, being such a 'chor lor' person, I should just get a new one. I figured that all that time save from waiting for my laptop to be fixed, then maybe having to deal with laptop issues (cos of old age), then having to go through the whole round of backing up then go to service centre again. Then in the end get a new laptop, I might as well just do it now. Plus, if I wanted to focus on this blog, I would really need a laptop that functions. I mean I could use the Mac Desktop, but firstly Daddy Li uses it too, so during the times we can use it we have to take turns. Then comes the issue that it ain't portable so I can't do my work or reply emails, check stuff while Kaitlin is next to me or bring my stuff out to do while she is at school. 

Oh look at me, justifying all the reasons why I need a new laptop like I need to answer to someone -.- I don't even know why, but maybe it makes me feel better knowing the reasons cos it makes me feel less like I'm being a spendthrift :(

Well, with that said. I ordered my new laptop, and it arrived two days later! Woop whoop! Many thanks to Kar Yan for her help and advice!

Say 'Hi' to a new lighter Macbook with retina display!! It's not a flattering picture but I just wanted to take it for the sake of it, cos it ain't everyday or year that I buy a new laptop right. Also, I'm just being annoying here, showing off my new MacBook, sorry okay. Allow me to be a show-off once in awhile alright! Also don't judge my wallpaper, I just took that image once I turned it on heehee :D The smell of a new laptop is awesomeee! I'm even making an effort to wash and dry my hands before I use me laptop okay.

I know I like new stuff but hello when it comes to things like tech stuff I don't like to change. Cos I need to move everything over and how hard can that be but I hate the hassle. I always feel like something would be missing, and of course the sentimental value that my stuff has. Not forgetting, my Macbook Pro already had the Adobe and Office stuff installed. Getting a new one means need to go get everything again = more money spent. Though, thanks to my awesome possum friend, Kar Yan, I get to save some moolah :D Such a saviourrrr! Not only does she offer it to me, she helps me through the whole installation (which is still happening!) Plus, I'm such a cavewoman so imagine the kind of retarded questions she has to answer. Sorryyy KY, thank you love you <3 <3 

Oh oh, sidetrack a bit! I "zheng-ed" my laptop. Finally putting those stickers Daddy Li bought for me a few years ago to use. Quite childish but why not right. No point hiding that I heart ponies, rainbows and unicorns + powerpuff girls. Plus, the powerpuff girls sticker reminds me of my girls <3

Makes me so super happy looking at my laptop! So yeah I don't like to decorate my new stuff or even remove those like plastic film that comes with new stuff, so see I'm making a tiny change there and not caring about what people think when I open my laptop. Cos why not right. I can be a twenty-plus mom that has her somewhat childish likes. Also, having an undecorated laptop doesn't necessarily mean I can work without distractions or have my thoughts and mood being affected by what I see. In fact, so far I feel pretty happy looking at them uh. At most, not happy just remove it right, and perhaps give it like a wet-wipe wipe. Hurhur.

So well, with that said. I feel like all this is a sign. Okay, there I go again being completely retarded as you might think it to be. Don't judge. I always believe things happen for a reason!

Like see..

Recently everything decided to fail on me. Like practical stuff like my hard drive and my laptop. Oh and my camera also! But that was last year and I haven't gotten a new one :/ Of course some other stuff as well. Like some stuff I believed in, or was working towards/stuff I wanted to do.

And how like it's a new year. Not really new uh, first month already almost ending. But some new stuff has been happening. Some new, some like a "restart". Like how I just got myself a new hard drive, a new MacBook Pro (hello lighter computer that does not move like a snail!!). Besides that, I also got my new phone. Okay, I haven't started using it uh and I got it last year. So since I haven't used it, still considered new for the year right?  But I refused to use it cos..I haven't found a nice cover and the other reason being I'm lazy to transfer everything out of my current phone to the new one and I'm so used to this current one. So much sentimental value *points to the now 7k photos in my phone* Don't judge. I know. It can be transferred. It's just like this stubborn part of me okay. Like maybe it's some psychological barrier or whatever. I don't even know what I'm saying. Also, since it's old if I drop it like a few times a day (I already do, and apparently I've been told that I actually threw my phone on the floor even though I thought I dropped it by accident) it's fine and I wouldn't feel the heart ache as compared to if it was a new phone. As such. Daddy Li keeps asking me when I'm gonna use it and why I'm not using it and if I don't intend to, to just pass it to him. And maybe I might cos it's just sitting in the drawer. Who knows? If my current phone doesn't die on me (pls don't die! It's already starting be a little lag) then my new phone might be in the drawer till a new iPhone gets released. Wouldn't be surprised. 

Okay, so those are some stuff that are new and all right..and I feel like it kind of links up to life currently. Like how there are certain changes, be it issues or emotions. Like how I said, some are new, some a "restart", some feels like something from the past happening all over again. Though I don't know how it's all going to pan out, or maybe it's just a short-term thing. It's happening, so like there's sort of a link there. Okay, I don't know how to explain already. So long-winded. 

Point is, I feel like this is a sign for me that this is the year/time for change. Even though I hate change, maybe it has to happen and I've to deal with it. Even if it's not a complete change or any change at all. I feel like I need to recalibrate and look at life differently, and maybe even stop being so stubborn with some stuff, and learn to let go. I hate change, but it's inevitable and the only way to go about life is to work around the change, adapt and deal with it even if it means it's not the most ideal way or the way I want it to be. I know all that, but being able to do all that is quite hard. 

Oh well, we'll see I guess.

Well speaking of changes, I'm glad to say that I've been working on at least one goal of mine for this year! That goal is to keep healthy and run thrice a week. It's probably a pretty easy goal to most people, but not to lazy me, plus when it's hard to find a good timing to run cos I've to care for Kaitlin. Anyway the fact that I've started working on one goal is a good start right? I hope that I at least manage to keep going with it for a few months. Cos even if it fails at least I tried!! It's also been a great feeling to see an improvement cos it helps to motivate me. At first, it was pretty difficult and it felt like why am I even doing this and I just feel damn useless that I can't run like I used to, and I still can't luh, but it's improving a little. Hopefully this means less falling ill this year and losing weight would be an added plus!

This post was such a rambling post. Well bloggers can rant and ramble right? Part of all this is probably a result of drinking coffee in the evening and then half a can of redbull at night. But it's okay verbal vomit is fine and it's mainly for my viewing and to look back on. Rather been writing my thoughts freely than having no recollection of life, feelings or emotions.

I know I've said it in my 'Good Bye 2014, Hello 2015' post, I hope to figure out life and so maybe this is how it's all going to start. Afterall, not everything can be remedied, mistakes are inevitable. If life allows for second chances and more, why not? If not, the only other thing to do is to start from scratch, or pick up from where I left off, and perhaps this time with less mistakes made.