Wednesday 20 January 2016

Goodbye 2015, Hello 2016!

Yikes! Third week into 2016 and I haven't gotten down to thinking about my resolutions for the year :/ I had planned to think about them by the second week what with all the craziness from the year-end and start of 2016. But..well I'm nowhere near to sitting down and thinking about it. In fact, I have't really reflected on the past year all that much, something which I always like to find some of my own time to do.

Well, 2015 has been a rollercoaster.

The year practically flew past, and looking back some of the things the happened felt like sometime ago when in actual fact they really just happened in the past 12 months. It's amazing how much has happened in the span of these 12 months and at the same time, how little I feel I have progressed as a person.

In general, the year panned out mostly different from what I had thought it would be like. Let's just say it started off very different from how it ended. I had wanted to do quite a few things, and when the year had just started, the outlook way way different from what it has actually become. Which also brings me to the point that it's surprising how much has happened and the degree to which how has everything changed.

As for resolutions, I am definitely annoyed with myself that I haven't step up to what I had expected myself to do in this past year. I've sort of kept to a few of my goals, thought in a slightly different manner like going to HK(check! just slightly different than I had planned.) and exercising three times a week (sort of check! if you count <30 mins as exercise heh and I didn't continue towards the end of the year but way more than I had expected myself to!) Definitely could have done much better by sticking to it but I'm amazed I actually even lasted that long. While I can't confidently say that I've kept to all my resolutions, I've done a better job of trying to keep to some of them than in the previous years heh.

Resolutions aside, the past year has made me realise alot more about life and people.  I've realised not everyone is the same in their way of thinking and actions. Not everyone can be genuine, not everyone can think of the bigger picture in life, how everyone has different priorities in life and the list goes on. People can also change so quickly and you see the ugly side of them. It's scary to see how people nowadays aren't as caring and giving as they used to be, aren't as sensitive to the feelings of others around them but rather become selfish creatures who care about them self. Sometimes they only care about their own success, sometimes they only care about their own emotions and sometimes they can even be scheming and deceiving. It's pretty awful to know that some people just become like that or perhaps they were already like that but that side was never seen. Truth is, not everyone thinks that innocently, and not everyone knows how to be the better person and refrain from doing things that hurt others for their own benefit. And in a way it becomes an evil cycle that passes on from one person to the next. It kind of makes me become less trusting as a person and if you asked me, I definitely prefer being young again. Because back when we were young, everyone thought simply and was more down-to-earth. If people laughed, they were really happy. If people were upset, they would speak their mind. We were all more 'human'. Of course we also had less considerations in life and probably followed our heart more than our mind.

2015 has passed, and so like how the year has gone's time to try and put the negativity of 2015 away. While, 2015 seemed like a crappy year it really wasn't that bad! There were lots of moments to be thankful for and lots of others which I wouldn't exchange for anything in the world!

One of the major highlight for the year was getting out of the +65! It wasn't exactly relaxing but it was good to get away. It has been so long since I last took a trip out plus it was a first time for the bub to be on a plane! It just felt great to be away from everything and just enjoy exploring another country and having loads of fun with the fambam.

There were so many firsts in the year that I can't decide which was my favourite. Then there were many special memories which I hold close to my heart and which made the year amazeballs.

The past year, I've learnt to become more independent, something which I feel I'm not very good at. I've learn to let go in some ways of things that mattered alot to me, which tbh I hated doing and the emotions that came along with it just purely sucked. But it was something I had to do. There are some things too, which I can't let go but which I try to tell myself not be so hard on myself about, but of course that's going to take time. In 2015, I've also learnt that things can't always be perfect. As much as I want them to, I can't have everything in life. You can want it all, but you can't always have it all. So then, at certain times we come to crossroads and simply have to make a choice instead of going around in circles trying to make it perfect. No harm trying, and I'm all for trying, but when the first few times don't work out and it seems like it's not going to work out just by you own effort then it's time to choose and live with the next best choice. It would suck initially especially if you hate change just like me, but I've realise that's life and that I should just make the most out of it. I've also learnt that time can't be turned back and there really is such a thing as wrong timing :( So for 2016, I really want to try to make the most out of it and catch up on lost time!

I've got no resolutions done yet for 2016, so for now..I want the year ahead to be

1. happy
I don't want to dwell on the unhappiness, I don't want to lose my temper as much and I am angry or upset to try to get over it and move on. If I reach the days where I feel at my lowest to try and think positively or cry it all out and try to move forward. I don't like how my negative emotions affect me and subsequently the way I treat others. For instance, I could be having a bad day and then I lose my temper easily at Kaitlin. Yeah, I don't want that to happen. I know there would be days that it happens, but I want those days to be the rare few days.

2. more positivity in life
I also don't want there be so much negativity in my life cos it honestly just drains me out so so much. I just feel like not doing anything at all basically just mope around which I hate cos I feel like I've wasted my day. So yes, to more positivity! To be able to let go and move on more easily!

3. fulfilling
I want to try do as much as I can within the year. Whatever it is I set out to do, I want to try a few. I know I always 'over-list' the things I want to do or that I have to do that I almost always never complete them or even tick off a few. So often that it becomes normal and yeah you get the point. Nothing gets done. Not the ones that I want to try to do, nor the ones that I need to do. I want to look back on 2016 and feel like I've achieved alot even if it's tiny little things like baking and frosting a cake on my own, running a further distance than I have ever ran before or decluttering the house!

May 2016 be better than the last for all of us, and I hope that each and everyone of you reading this have a spectacular year ahead!

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